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Saturday, April 4, 2020

'If you've no room for sheep, get yourself some hens.' And other useful virus tips

Wealthy self-isolators have little to say to the millions who fear for their very lives

With classic plague literature now fairly thoroughly mined for instructive similarities with our current predicament – official cover-ups, forced isolation, mad clerics, makeshift burials, heavy-handed policing etc – perhaps it is time to turn to some of the differences. One of the major ones being, of course, the earlier absence of influencers.

As terrifying as it would have been for anyone stuck in the London described by Defoe or inside Camus’s Oran, these imprisoned citizens were, at least, spared survival tips dreamed up in the remote homes and gardens of fund managers, celebrity chefs, professional tidier-uppers, titled brand ambassadors, “tablescaping” experts. You might be banged up, scared and brooding on things left undone and unsaid, in 1665, but at least nobody thought this was the perfect time to inform you that “this period of self-isolation is a good chance to experiment with more decadent table settings”. Yes, even if you are alone, mid-virus. “At a moment like this,” the same connoisseur continues, “quirky tableware is particularly uplifting.”

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